Breaking Stigma

When I talk about Breaking Stigma to others, I get many complex questions that might seem to be very simple.  Some people say to me, “Social stigma is something that we as a nation (the United States of America) have really moved past, haven’t we?”  This question is much more complex than one might think, so let me fully explain the question and answer below.

When you talk to someone about something you feel is common sense, you might start your sentence with the two words “most people”.  You might say, “Most people know that when someone says… that it means…”  When individuals say, “most people,” in this manner, what they are really saying is, “most people whom I know,” or, “most people in my demography.”

When people campaign for President of the United States they understand that the different areas of the country have different things they need to hear, or not hear, from the campaigner and his or her campaign.  In the 2008 presidential election in the United States, the Obama Campaign was specifically told not to say anything that might doubt anyone as to whether an African American could be president within a community which was composed primarily with African Americans.  Why is this important to note?  In psychology, the stigma associated with a statement like this, might greatly change the outcome of the votes within that demography.  In psychologies studies in many American universities, psychologists have found that people associate their value with the images of those they see day to day with similar qualities that they possess.  It is so much this way that if one average Caucasian American were to go into a academic test just before seeing ten photos of other Caucasian Americans who were unhappy, homeless, and had ragged dirty clothing, they would score on average 12% less on a test where another average Caucasian American who was shown ten pictures of successful Caucasian Americans.  If African Americas were to associate Obama with that sort of doubt in their mind, they may not have gotten roughly 98% of the United States votes from African Americas.

This is a small example of the effects of self-stigma.  Some demographics in the United States may certainly be past this form of stigma, and can truly see beyond the appearances and behaviors of other people within the world. Can we say this for everyone?  The answer is no.  We would need a greater understanding of demographics around the world to make the statement that we as human beings have moved beyond this trait.

In truth, there are many people today that suffer from religious persecution, racism, sexism, stigma that comes with diseases and disorders, and more. If I had to give you an estimate on the percentage of people I hear from around the world who say that this organization has a great mission and purpose compared to those who ask me if we haven’t moved beyond stigma, I would say that 95-99% of people I hear from say that this mission is a profound one, and 5% or less ask me if we as Americans, or even humans, have not moved past this issue.

Get involved with Breaking Stigma by donating or spreading our message.  We offer corporate trainings on how to help your workforce move beyond the difficulty of stigma while working with your customers.  Breaking Stigma is also looking to be involved with more speaking events.  Invite us to speak at your conference, church, or other gathering. We do not charge for any of our services, but we do ask for a donation and for any expenses incurred involved with your engagement to be paid for by your company or conference.  Post a comment on any of our posts to request more information.

To get a better understanding of the message we propose here at Breaking Stigma, I would like to tell you a story.

When my wife started to work at someone’s house from another culture, she had to learn many new things about that culture.  One day, while her boss’s parents were in town, the father of her boss told her that wearing shoes inside the house was offensive where he came from.  He appeared to be upset yet seemed to want to inform my wife about how she was upsetting him, so she wouldn’t do it again.

In this situation, there are many choices.  To continue working for her boss, she has only three.

1. She could “tolerate” this request, go take her shoes off, and then be upset about it.
2. She could “accept” this as truthful, and when she goes home, she might start asking me to do the same.
3. Or, she could “understand” that there is a cultural difference, and although she does not agree that taking your shoes off in a house is a sign of respect, she can understand that her boss’s family feels that way.

The interesting thing about the third one is that you can apply it to many situations.  The long stemmed argument between Christians and gay people, the feeling you get when you step off an airplane in another country, how you treat others who believe in different things than you do, and many more.

At Breaking Stigma, our goal is to teach methods to help you understand the differences in people, and not feel angry about it, or feel that you have to accept what they say as true.  Our goal is to get you to see the other side, understand it for what it is, and then realize that no one is perfect and that is ok.

For more information on Breaking Stigma and how you can get involved, send us an email at info@breakingstigma.org.

A few years ago I was suffering from Anorexia.  It is not merely a weight issue, but a mental one.  The weight loss is only a consequence of my self-image and stigma.  My weight from age 12-16 was around 77 pounds or 35 kilo’s.

My siblings are very practical people, task and achievement oriented.  However, I am not.  Their achievements were seen and complimented while mine was absent.  It made me feel worthless, no one said I was.  No one knew how it made me feel, but I could see a big difference between my siblings and I.  I wanted to have a goal to something I could achieve, for I believed it was what was expected, and I was a failure so far.  Then my sister started losing weight, and people said she looked great, so that became my goal to be pretty and skinny.  I danced three hours a day and worked out for an extra hour every other day.  I hardly ate, which was not difficult for I was a picky eater and never hungry.  So I lost weight.

Then high school also started as well as my fascination with MTV and the Dutch equivalent TMF not to mention hormones and judgmental teenagers.  It made me feel ugly, fat and unloved.  Young teenagers are very mean.  They see through you. They see your insecurities and use them against you, or at least that is what happened to me.  They teased and bullied me into thinking that I was really ugly and fat, and again I felt useless and worthless, for all my trying to be beautiful I was failing still.  I had no other goals than to be beautiful, but I could never fit that picture in my own mind.

Because of my self-image I treated the world in a certain way, and the world reacted accordingly.  My image was I am worthless. Therefore, I am beneath you, and I will do anything you ask of me even at the cost of myself.  The world’s response was to order me to do things and expect me to give up everything.  There was one time that I tried to say no to someone, and they didn’t even believe me anymore laughed and made me take over a work shift by simply walking away.  I believed the world really saw me as worthless, and that it was not just in my mind.

I fell into the vicious cycle of self-stigma and world-stigma that kept feeding off of each other.  It led to anorexia and it took me a long time to see myself as a “normal” human being, even after I gained that much needed weight.  Now finally I know that I am worth more than what I look like, that I do not want to listen to the stigma the world places on me or self-stigma brought on by insecurity.  I am worth dignity and respect like any other human being even from myself.

Here you will find information on current activities, stigma related events and articles, testimonies on how stigma has effected people’s lives, and much more.  As the president of this organization and Chairman of the Board of Directors, I welcome you to the new and improved blog site.

Sincerely,

Keith A. Little, CPS.